The thing that nobody wants to talk about (and why we should all talk about)
Recently I have moved across from WordPress to Medium — I wrote a short post about that last month. I plan to post on here every Monday and Friday, and every Friday when I’m a bit busier. For my first proper post on here, I am actually re-uploading a post of mine that I placed on WordPress in October last year which is slightly altered, because I feel it is particularly relevant in the times we live in.
‘No matter what one day everyone dies/ You think you a God ’till you run out of time’
These are the words uttered by the late Mac Miller in his 2016 song ‘Soulmate’.
Sure, some people may look at this as just another lyric. But so much meaning can be taken from it.
The truth is, we all die. That’s right. Every single person reading this will die one day. You will die one day. I will die one day. Honestly, it’s not the nicest thought, and it can be daunting and scary to think about. The two things we all share are — we are born and we die. That’s it. So we talk about birth but never death? Let me say this — the fact that we avoid talking about our inevitable deaths just makes it worse.
During the coronavirus pandemic, it has had a lot of people fearing for their own demise, their own health and has caused a lot of people to think about these kinds of thoughts which are usually not apart of our everyday thoughts and emotions. However, I want to share that I think it is so important to talk about this issue and be open to it. The more open we become with our own death and demise, the more we will cherish life and be able to feel more stress-free during strange times such as now where our own humanity is threatened by a virus.
Death is truly the thing that nobody talks about. It’s like that teddy bear you push to the side, that side job you’ll ‘eventually’ do. The shoes under your bed that you haven’t worn in 5 years. You know they’re there, but you don’t try to actively focus on them. This is the same with death. We push the thought away, we try not to actively think about it. Which is a good thing! Enjoying our lives and living in the present was one of the reasons I starting writing publicly in the first place! However, completely ignoring it like the western society we live in does, isn’t the correct approach to take — let me explain.
Why is it important to talk about it? Because death can happen to any of us at any time. Coming to terms with this reality can help you to spend your time more wisely, and to better appreciate what’s truly important in life. COVID-19 has sadly killed over 533,000 people at this stage, with sadly more to die from it. Considering this virus wasn’t even in our thoughts 9 months ago, it just shows that life can end that quickly. 500,000+ people are gone within the blink of an eye. Now, might I add — these people may have died from other causes regardless over that time, as a lot of deaths and serious cases are linked to pre-existing health conditions, however, it is still something to think about.
Acceptance can help you to find the beauty in every present moment. Studies have shown that accepting your mortality can be freeing, as one of the consequences can be making more conscious choices in the present. Indeed if we can strive to control how anxiety about death impacts upon us, we can avoid potentially negative thoughts and behavior and focus positively on the time we have. Fr Neil McNicholas, author of A Catholic Approach to Dying, says: “The thought that ‘each day you awaken could be the last you have’ could sound very depressing, but it doesn’t have to be that way”. What this means is that the more comfortable we become with the reality of death, and the less we deny it, the more positively attuned we’ll be to the day-to-day things that remind us of our mortality.
I’m not suggesting we need to bring this up every day. Nor do I think we need to bring it up every week or even every month, it’s just a thought that I think we should keep conscious of so that we can both live and die well and make the most of every bit of time we have.
I will leave you all with one more thought: When the Black Death claimed the lives of about a third of the entire population of Europe in the Middle Ages, as a result, the catchphrase ‘memento mori’ (remember death) became very well-known and deeply shaped the way people lived their lives. Whilst we don’t live by this now, maybe we should? Particularly during times such as this with a worldwide pandemic.
Thank you for reading. I post on Mondays & Fridays, or on Fridays when I’m a little busier, make sure to check them out.
Eli
